


Stars Remain The Same

by Emiel



Category: Dean Winchester - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Grief, I'm bad at tags, Pain, hopefully this will do, sad things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2017-12-30 16:51:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1021084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emiel/pseuds/Emiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been six months since Elyse's husband, Dean, has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. One day, she meets Tom in a chance encounter at the hospital. Someone who brings back the hope that she needs. He teaches her how to cope and deal with all the pain of having a loved one diagnosed. However, things take a turn for the worst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't my first fic, however this is the first I have posted online. I'm anxious to see what you all think, so please comment!  
> And, this is an AU where I've taken the character of Dean Winchester and the Real Person Tom Hiddleston and kind of plopped them into my work.  
> I do not own either of them, despite how much I would like to.

        I sat there, thinking to myself in a stifled hospital on a sunday afternoon. What would the rest of my short life be like if I had  someone extraordinary? And I couldn’t help but think that despite my husband’s illness, that meeting this person would bring some semblance of joy into my life

       Dean had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer almost a year ago. I had been a loving, loyal and caring wife as much as I could have been. The medical bills, the  late nights staying up with him all seemed to wear me down. I found myself being as fatigued and nauseous as he was at times. By the time his symptoms had started to show, the cancer had already been too advanced. There wasn’t much to do but to run radiation, try surgery and hope for the best now. That’s what Dean and I did, as we were told. We hoped for the best.  

            I feel like a terrible person for writing this the way I did, it makes me sound cold and uncaring. I was completely the opposite. When we first got the diagnosis, I didn’t leave Dean’s side. Hell. I never did. I was there, at the sound of his voice he could not leave me. On his good days, we had our times. We would laugh and smile, and hug and kiss. However, there was the looming future that would always dwindle away at our ropes.

           That’s why I needed joy, that’s why Dean needed it too. We both did, in our own separate ways. It was ironic, that as I sat in this chair eating the chips I had gotten from a vending machine and thinking about the happiness that was needed in our lives. He came. Like it was known that I was a sinking ship.

            “Are you alright, Ma’am?” He asked as he sat down, two seats away from me. I could hear the twinge of an accent in his voice. I knew he wasn’t from around here.

             I looked up. This man had a look of his own. It was definitely handsome, but hard to get used to see it at first. He had curly auburn hair that was brushed back. Light blue-green eyes that were doting and serious, but happy all at the same time.

           “As much as one can be for spending time on this ward.” I said, smiling sadly at him. His lips twisted into a disappointed frown.

            “I am so sorry.” He whispered. He knew, that was all that it took. He knew it wasn’t me, but someone else that I was very close with. I looked at him, and all I saw was understanding. He knew the feelings.

            “That would make two of us.” I whispered back and clenched the bag tighter, making a crinkling sound.

            “Do you mind?” He asked, gesturing forth to the seat next to me.

            I shook my head and patted it ever so gently. He slid over to me and sat. “I’m Thomas, by the way. Please call me Tom.”

            “Elyse.” I tried to muster a smile as much as I could and took the big hand that he offered me to shake.

            “What a pleasure to meet you, Elyse.”

            “And you.” It didn’t take long to place his accent. London, or somewhere in England. I didn’t speak for what seemed a long time, but I had offered him a chip and he shook his head before breaking the silence with those penetrating words.

            “I’m sure they’ll be okay. The doctor’s are the best here. I only brought my sister here because of that.” He said.

His words worked me to the core. I had wanted so badly to believe them nine months ago, but how could I when didn’t believe in hope or miracles and I knew what Dean’s fate was? All I was concerned with was being there for him.

            “The doctor’s said that there wasn’t much…” I had started to trail, unsure what to say. However, Tom held up his hand to silence me.

            “I don’t want to hear that talk. I just want you to know that time is precious, and it’s well needed.” He smiled down at me. I crumbled the bag of empty chips in my hand and stood up.

            “Perhaps, I’ll see you again?” I asked him, not really knowing if I had wanted to or not.

            “It’s oncology. It’d be terrible for me to say that I will, but I do hope not. Not in this way at the least.” He smiled another sad smile at me, before I turned and walked back to Dean’s room.

            My heart swelled with emotions as I saw him from the bed. His hair was dull and void of it’s once rich brown color, and clung to his head. His once bright green eyes had been reduced to dark, bag-adorned ones. His tan skin had developed a bit of paleness to it. I walked closer to him and smiled softly. He looked up at me as I sat on the edge of his bed.

            “Where did you go?” He asked. His deep voice cracked.

            “To get fresh air.” I said as I took his hand.

            He laughed a bit. “Wish I could get some of that.”

            “Oh, sweetie. Don’t worry. Once they come and take out your I.V, we can leave. We won’t have to come back for another week and a half.” I said with a bright smile.

            “Thank the lord.” He teased as he gave my hand a tight squeeze.

            “We’ll be thanking someone alright.” I smiled and kissed his hand.

  


 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating so far is mature, however I might change it later.

The following hours that passed were filled with me comforting Dean, rubbing his back while he released what little he had left in his stomach. The nausea that coincided and every other thing else. It pained me every time he looked into my eyes.

            At around 10, it was time to go. I helped him put on his coat as he snaked his arm around my shoulders. I kept one around his waist and the other on his chest. To not only comfort, but steady him. I had made sure that the walk from the hospital entrance and our jeep wasn’t far.

            “It’s really cold.” Dean said as we walked. He hadn’t been out of his room for the past 48 hours.

            I laughed a bit. “Yeah, the weather guy on channel two said that it was going to get a bit worse. We’re beginning to really feel fall.”

            “My favorite season.” Dean said with a smile as I helped him into his seat. I knew it was, it had always been mine too. He buckled up and I leaned forward with a hand on his thigh.

            “Why is that?” I asked him, just wanting to hear him talk.

            “Well, we have the color changes. Halloween, Football, Thanksgiving, Pie, Cider, Campfires, and my favorite thing of all. Our anniversary.” He smiled at me.

            I smiled back. “October 26th. The best day of my life.”

            He laughed. “Oh come on, we both know that’s not true. It was the day I won that hot-dog eating contest.” He joked.

            I rolled my eyes. “Okay, Sparky.” I leaned forward and kissed him. He kissed me back with a bit more passion than I had expected. I pulled away, and then kissed him again. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” I said, and then shut his door.

            On the ride home I had let Dean roll his window down as he stared up into the bright stars of a clear night. It was against my better judgment. I didn’t want him to get sick. That was one more thing we just couldn’t handle. I pulled up to the house that we’d made a home over the past couple of years. It was new with two stories. The outside had been painted a dark steel color, and the front porch had a white frame. It was cute, definitely accentuated both our tastes. With an attached garage and a pool in the back, it was more modern that the other homes in our neighborhood. Dean got out of the car and came around to my side. We held hands as we walked inside.

            “Tired?” I asked as I pressed the key into the lock.

            “I’m exhausted.” He said with an affirmative nod.

            “Well, how about we get you up in bed so you can sleep?”

            “Good idea.”

            We stepped across the threshold together into the  front hallway. To our right was the kitchen, which had been painted red with gray granite counter tops. Our dining table set in front of the windows. To our left was the family room. The couch situated in front of the fireplace, and above the mantle was our T.V. In front of us was the stairs to the second level. Up to last year, our bedroom had always been upstairs. Now, however, my brother and I had moved it to the spare room downstairs to accommodate Dean. I helped him shrug out of his coat and then kissed his cheek.

            “Go get in bed. I’ll be right in with water.” I said.

            He nodded and walked around the living room to our bedroom. I passed the picture on the wall that hung with pride. It was us, on our wedding day. Almost five years ago.

            Writing about this day still makes me tear up. It had been so beautifully done in one of the only churches in town, with a reception at the town’s botanical gardens. Dean had looked so handsome in his dark suit with a silver tie and waist coat. His hair was full and mussed then, and he’d been entirely clean-shaven. Something that was so rare. That picture had been taken outside of the botanical garden. He had been holding me, looking up into the camera with the biggest grin plastered on his face. The one next to that, was full of color. This time, we were face to face with the biggest smiles on our faces. I can remember trying not to break out in a wild laugh as Dean made faces at me in between pictures.

            The rest of the pictures that were strewn throughout the house were of us, or of friends and family. In more casual settings. Always smiling, and always happy.

            I returned to Dean with his water in my hand. He was relaxed and under the covers in his pajamas. “What took you so long?”

            “I was looking at our pictures.” I said matter of factly.

            He laughed like a little boy. “Those silly things?”

            I handed him the glass and smiled while he sipped it. “Yes, those. They’re perfect.”

            “Mmm. You’re right.” He said as I changed from my clothes quickly and settled next to him. He switched off the lamp light and wrapped his arm around me. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of my head, and I could feel him smile. “I love you, Elyse.” He said.

            “I love you too, Dean.” I whispered and closed my eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

            I was completely thankful that I’d had a job that allowed me to work from home. I was an analyst for a company in New York at the time. I usually spent 4 hours in the office doing what was needed. I had risen before Dean had woken up that morning and was dressed in my signature look: Jeans and a T-shirt. I made headway to the kitchen to make coffee.

            “Good morning.” Dean said as he entered the kitchen.

            I looked over at him and he was dressed in jeans and a long sleeve, v-neck. He gave me a huge, wide-eyed smile that constricted my heart.

            “It is a good morning.” I said with a smile. He had to of been feeling so much better.

             He crossed the room and pulled me to him. He didn’t say anything but stare down at me with that stupidly adorable smile plastered on his face. He kissed my nose tenderly, then pressed my head closer to his chest. I don’t remember how long we were like that and it simply didn’t matter. Nothing but him mattered. He was the first to pull away, but gave me a quick kiss. “Work today?” He asked as he went into the fridge.

              I nodded. “No, I don’t _have_ to. It’s small, and it isn’t even due until Wednesday.” I said.

             He laughed. “My wife, the procrastinator.”

             I smiled at him. “You know me so well.”

             He poured himself a glass of orange juice and then sat at the barstool counter. “Of course I do.”

             It wasn’t long after breakfast until Dean and I had situated us on the couch, hand in hand. His free arm snaked around my body to hold me tight to him. This was my favorite day. A good day. We told bad jokes, reminisced about the times when we were dating, and told each other just how much we loved the other.

            Later that night, however. Was what had really surprised me. Let’s just say that Dean, despite his condition, had not lost his touch.  His lips were smooth up and down my bare, soft skin; His hands were expertly groping and rubbing. He had not lost his touch.

           

            The next few days passed by, not much happened. I sat at my office desk, talking with my boss and a few other coworkers on a video conference call. It was menial, not much to discuss but reports and suggestions. His discussions of what was going on locally to help me get an idea of what was happening with the company.

            “Elyse, I’ll be faxing you those suggestion cards.” My boss, Daniel, had said.

            I scribbled down the words I needed to, “Alright. How many?”

            “At least one from each employee. I had been told on many occasions that things needed to be changed.”

            “You know that some of these things don’t always belong in my department?” I asked him, curious.

            “Of course I know, but some of our technology seems to falter our dependability. The accounts get screwed up, returns don’t take, the like. I just need you to sift through them and help us figure out a solution with the IT department.”

            I nodded and let out a small sigh while writing more on my legal pad. “Will do, I’ll get those done as soon as I can.”

            Daniel nodded at me, his moustache quivering a tad. “Good. I’ll be in touch.” He hung up on the video call while at the same exact moments, the faxes started coming on through.

         

           “You’ve arisen from your cave.” Dean said, swallowing a bit of water as I entered our bedroom.

            I stretched my arms out, hearing my entire spine pop. I winced a tad. “Daniel has tasked me with this ridiculous assignment. I don’t understand why any of the interns couldn’t have done it.”

            Dean laughed and placed his hand on my knee as I sat cross-legged next to him. “He probably just wants to keep you working, is all.”

            I rolled my eyes. “It would be better if I didn’t work.”

            “Ah, of course. But you need too.” He said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

            I stared at him and ran my hands across his face; the stubble that adorned his jawline was tickling my fingers. “You’re right.” I said and kissed him softly.

            He smiled at me and gave me a soft kiss.

            “Do you know what you’d want for dinner?” I asked him.

            “Can I have a chicken salad? I haven’t had one of those in forever.”

            I laughed softly. “Of course you can, I’ll make us dinner.”

            He looked at me with soft eyes and a deep smile. “You are far too perfect for me.”

            I got up and walked to the door, leaning against the frame I softly said. “Don’t ever think that, if anything. It should be reversed.” I said, while walking to the kitchen to prepare our dinner.

            I quickly had a run of the upcoming week in my mind. Dean had to be back at the hospital tomorrow for more treatment and therapy, and his parents were coming over for dinner Monday. I was going to be swamped during week business hours due to my new found assignment. I hadn’t even had a chance to pull out my Halloween decorations yet. I would need to look through them before the first so that I could set them all out. So maybe I could do that as well.

            It didn’t take long to grill the chicken and cut it up into strips for us, then make the rest of the salad. I grabbed a large enough tray and tried to make it look as nice as possible. Dean and I would have dinner in bed. In a way, that would always be better than breakfast in bed. I carried it to the room and smiled at him. “Here you are, my love.” I said.

            “Oh! It looks delicious.”

            “It’s just a salad, Dean.”

            “Yes, but you make them the best.”

            I giggled at him and placed the tray on top of both our laps on the bed.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

          Dean slid into the passenger door, his green eyes were especially tired. It was time to go back to the hospital for more radiotherapy. He pulled up his fleece blanket to his chin, shivering against the cold of the car even though he had dressed in multiple layers. He adjusted the ball cap he had on his head and smiled over at me. I, of course, smiled back as I pushed all of my hair to one side and turned on the car, my first action was to turn on the heat.

          Dean turned on the radio, listening to the Kansas CD that was still lodged into the player. He was a fanatic for classic rock. As the car warmed up, he took my hand and kissed it before we went off. The ride to the hospital was quiet as I listened to Dean singing along, his voice perfectly pitched even though he was trying not to be too loud. I gave his hand a tight squeeze as we pulled up into the parking garage.

          “Dean Winchester, back so soon?” The nurse that had proceeded over Dean’s case along with his doctor, was Sera. We had grown to love her.

          “That’s right. I couldn’t stay away.” He said with a chuckle.

          I smiled as Sera pulled a wheelchair around, and I helped him sit down without too much pain. “Let’s go get you all set.” She said.

          I followed close to Dean and Sera as they talked about how Dean was feeling lately. We went to a bed, and he climbed up and relaxed.

          “Doctor Bailey will be right in.” Sera said with a smirk.

          “Fantastic.” I said, pulling up a chair beside Dean.

          “Ooh, let’s see what he has in store for us this time.” Dean said, laughing.

 

          Nothing with Dean had changed. The cancer was still prominent, and his health was not the best condition. As always. Dean had gone through his therapy, but they kept him over time as usual since he had a history of being bugged by the radiation.

          As Dean slept off his side effects, I wandered around the ward to get a bit of the blood flow back into my legs.

         “Elyse.” A familiar sounding voice crooned from behind me. I turned on my heels to face him.

         “Tom.” I said, giving him a soft smile.

          He smiled widely at me, “How are you?”

          “Better. I took the advice that you gave me. I can’t be negative.” I said.

          “How wonderful! That’s beautiful, really. I’m so happy to be able to help.”

          “Well, I am forever grateful.” I responded to him.

           Tom looked around a bit, the silence between us was awkward. I felt the need to tell him something, or ask him anything. Something to just break the silence and talk.

          “So, you’re-”

          “Your husband - “ We had both ended up talking at the same time. He laughed, something that sounded like a perfect ‘Ehehehe.’ “Please, Elyse. I want to hear what you have to say.” He urged me to continue on.

          “If you do insist. I was wondering if you were here to see your sister, and if so, how she’s doing.”

          “You remembered. Not many people remember that. My sister, she just got back actually. Not that well, I’m afraid. I came to visit her.”  

           I frowned and looked down. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

           Tom looked away, tears were glistening in his eyes. I had a vague feeling that he did not want to cry. Not now, at least.

          “She’ll be okay, I hope. She always gets better.”

          My heart twisted for Tom. He had helped me to try and be more positive about Dean’s health and I tried to listen. I just couldn’t fathom how much of an optimist he was. That was something I’d come to admire about him.

          “You must stay positive. You have enough of that for the both of us.” I teased him.

          He laughed awkwardly, trying to cough out a sob before turning back to me.

          “It’s always better to be an optimist. There’s so much beauty in the world.”

          “You’re right.”

          “Your husband, - “

          “Dean.” I added.

          “Your husband, Dean, is he back for more treatment?”

          “Ah yes. He’s in his room. Sleeping off the nausea.”

          Tom nodded, running a hand through that unruly auburn hair.

          “I was wondering, if perhaps you would be interested in joining a support group. They meet tonight, and it’s for family members of those suffering with illnesses.”

          I looked at him, my breath hitched. “Me? What?” I did not like the sound of that at all. Sure, the idea of a support group was pleasant for those that were interested in sharing their feelings with a room full of a thousand and one strangers. However, for me? No. I was not the “Kumbaya” type.

          Tom nodded. “I started going to the meetings last year. They really did help, you know? Allowed me to realize that I wasn’t the only one experiencing a trifle of a time. I feel like attending would do you a lot of good.”

           I couldn’t help but try and muster a laugh. “Tom. I don’t think so.”

           “Elyse, please. Just come and try it out. Test the waters. The meetings aren’t that bad. I’ll come with you for your first meeting.”  

           “Tom, I-I can’t leave Dean.”

           “If you ask, I’m sure he’ll understand your reasoning.”

           I bit my lip and eyed Tom up and down. He was practically begging me to attend this, and perhaps if I did go just once, he’d drop it. I turned the idea of the support group over and over in my head, letting it resonate in there a while.

           “Okay, Tom.” I finally blurted. “I’ll go with you.”

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for continuing to read!

      The air inside Tom’s car had been constricting the entire drive down to the community center. Dean had agreed to let me go. He thought it was a good idea, which I would have a serious talk with him about and chew him over and over again until he realized that he was wrong and this was certainly not a good idea.

     Tom was full of conversational topics on the drive, trying to alleviate the inherent awkward feeling as I was freaking out over what could possibly happen. It was usually light chit-chat, just getting to know each other better. He found out I was from a few states over, and was a business analyst and I found out that his sister had moved to the States to find something inside her, but she wasn’t sure what, and now that Tom was here he had started a teaching job at the university a few towns over. I thought this was a weird notion, because he didn’t seem like the scholarly type.

     As we arrived, there were already a few cars parked outside.

     “Don’t you worry, Elyse. These people are very welcoming. You won’t have a thing to be afraid of.”

     “I’m not afraid, Tom. I’m just a bit weirded out by the idea of getting up there and sharing my personal story with all these strangers.”

     “Funny thing is, love. That these people aren’t strangers. They’re going through all the same emotions and situations that you are. It just isn’t their husband. It’s their daughter, their mother, their sister, their brother, cousin, nephew, friend, wife, lover. It isn’t cancer, it’s Leukemia, Lesch-Nyhan, EHF, Heart Disease, Brain Tumors. They may not know your exact situation but they know the pain of knowing personally anyone with a life-threatening illness.”

     Tom, again, was right. I was beginning to dislike him for all of this. All of his pure correctness, because it left me without a reason to be angry, or hurt, or feel grief but instead to understand that the most of my life was just full of these precious moments.

     Tom turned off the car, and before I was out he had come around and opened the door for me.

     “What a gentleman. Thank you.” I whispered.

     “Don’t thank me for something that should just be,” He replied, leading me inside. “However, we’re a few minutes late. It should have already started but I don’t think they’ll mind.”

     “How kind of them.”

     “Elyse.” He said with a slight shake of his head. “Okay, I’ll tell you what. I will get up and share my story if you do. How does that sound? That way you aren’t the only one out there that feels like you’re drowning.”

     He had a very generous offer on the table and I was wondering if I should accept. Should I have?  

     “I’m usually not the type to force anybody into anything, but I can tell that you’ve been seriously pushing things deep down inside and it’s not healthy. Oh! I mean- I-I’m not forcing, either. Just suggesting.” Tom was try to back pedal, trying to not make himself seem like a jerk and the frustration on his face from his accidental slip up. He wanted to hear me speak.

     “Alright. Fine, but you must go first.” I added onto our compromise.

     “Sounds fair enough.” Tom agreed as he opened the door into the room. It was rather large with a circle of chairs all facing each other. There was only one seat left.

     “Oh, shucks. Only one seat left.” I said, starting to slip away.

     “Elyse!” Tom whisper-yelled at me and I froze.

     “I’m sorry.” I said, standing next to him. He took a few steps to a stack of chairs and grabbed one and then placed it next to the other chair, and sat down. I took a spot next to him. Just in time to hear the few last bits of someone speaking the introduction.

     “I can’t thank you guys enough for being here, it’s really uplifting to see the group of eleven, well twelve now,” the man gestured to me. “being here to support one another. It means a lot, especially from some of us here and moved on.” the man said.

     “And with that, we move on. I can see we have a new attendee.” He smiled at me.

     I waved simply. 

     He grinned. “Welcome.”

     “Thank you.” I said modestly.

     “Well, onwards, does anyone have anything to say in order to begin?” He asked.

      It was stark quiet and I had a feeling that no one wanted to share anything without me first introducing who I was and who I am. However, Tom being the macho man that he was, decided to be the first one. He straightened his posture, cleared his throat. His blue-green eyes glanced down at me.

     “Hey, everyone. Most of you do know me. But for those that don’t, my name is Tom.” He smiled softly.

      I stared at him for a moment, preparing for whatever he would unveil.

     “So, I suppose there’s really no other way to say this. In 2010 my sister, Emma, was diagnosed with Leukemia. I can remember the exact moment that she told me. I was still living in my flat in London, and she never usually called long-distance. It was rare, honestly. It was a delightful surprise until I heard her tone over the phone.

     “‘Tom,’ She whispered, ‘I need to talk to you.’ I had asked her if everything was alright, and she said that no. She wasn’t. That she wasn’t sure how to say it properly and that she was just going to come right out with it all. I, being the nervous brother that I am, was imagining the worst. Did mom die? Dad? How come she knew first and she was in the states? Was she dying? The truth, was actually not that far off from the last possibility. She was diagnosed with Leukemia. She had just found out from her doctor.” Tom looked down at his hands that were clasped together so tightly.

     “I can remember the exact feelings I had that day. I just. I had started to cry, and I couldn’t stop. I remember thinking to myself, ‘Oh, Tom. What a way to cry, you baby.’ But my sister, she was crying too. She told me that it was okay to cry. To let it all out. We had worked on an agreement that I was moving out there to help take care of her. I left my job and moved in with her for a few months and now I’m here.” His voice had gotten hoarse from trying to choke back tears that were brimming his eyes.

     “My sister got periodically worse and worse. I didn’t know what else to do. I was just there for her. That’s the only thing I knew how to do. So I did my damned best.” He chuckled awkwardly. “I’m naturally an optimist and I just… I had trouble finding out how to deal with it all. How to remain such a positive person. It took a lot of thinking before I realized that I needed to be strength. For the both of us. That’s how I coped. I realized that I could make Emma smile and laugh and get through all she needed to.”

     Tom glanced down at his hands. “She’s not doing too well now, and I’m not certain how long she has. All I can do is hope for the very best. That’s all we have.” He said.

     “And I realize some of you may find it difficult to find a positive outlook on things.” Tom stared at me, “but I dare you to try.” Tom sat down and people clapped a bit, and I smiled sadly at him. I extended my hand to caress his shoulder gently.

     “Thank you, Tom. Ever so insightful.” The man smiled. “Anyone else?”

     I could feel Tom jab me in the side with his elbow. This was it. I had to confront all these people, now, as I had promised Tom I would. Why was I such a fool?

     I cleared my throat. “H-Hi. My name is Elyse. I’ve never really done anything like this at all and I feel like maybe I should probably say that I’m an alcoholic, but I know that this isn’t that type of meeting. I suppose I’ll just start wherever. I met my husband, Dean, when I was in high school. We married when I was twenty, and him twenty-three. We’ve been going on strong for five years now.”

     I let out my first breath. “However, almost a year ago, Dean was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. I’ve heard that it’s one of the most deadly cancers. With a low survival rate if not caught soon enough. You know what? It wasn’t. It had grown too huge to do much of anything. All we’ve been doing now is radiotherapy.” I ran my hand through my hair.

    “I remember that when I first found out, I did nothing but cry. I cried all day and I cried all night. I did enough crying for everyone in my family. Enough to drown the whole town, to be frank. I want to imagine that when you guys found out. You all did the same thing. Everything didn’t matter anymore but Dean and his health. However, as the first few bills came in. I realized I couldn’t afford to stop working. I had to do all in my power to take care of him and make enough money to eat.

    “I don’t like to ask for help. Even when everyone around me from my niece’s teacher to my mother who doesn’t even live in this state are offering. I just can’t do it.” I could feel the tears in my eyes begin to overflow. “I watched Dean’s health deteriorate. I watched him get weaker. I felt like such a bitch for worrying about money and bills while my husband lay there, literally dying. I just.” I stopped to wipe away my tears. “I learned to realize that yes, those things matter but I can’t let it overrule Dean. I feel like I need to be there with him. I can’t miss out on a bad day, or those marvelous good days. I can’t leave him stranded while he’s dying.” I finally let out.

    I began to fully understand that Dean was slipping from me, little by little at a time. “Thanks for listening.” I whispered.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to post another chapter so soon. I will usually post a new chapter every other weekend or so. I just have had this idea for the support group in my head for so long now and I just didn't want to lose it.


	6. Chapter 6

           Tom walked with me towards Dean’s room. We hadn’t talked much since the car ride. Well, he talked. I didn’t. “Did you feel better after?” He asked me.

            I shrugged. To be honest, I probably felt worse. “It was alright.” I lied.

            I imagine that Tom understood it and he sighed. “May I have your phone number?” He asked.

            I laughed a bit. “Why? Wanna ask me out on a date?”

            “No, not at all. I just feel that maybe we should keep in touch, that way if you need someone we can call each other. You know? It helps to have that on hand help.”

            “Alright.”

            Tom pulled out his iPhone, then handed me an open contact file and I filled out the information for him. “Here you go.” I said.

            “Fantastic. Thank you.” He said. I shrugged at him. “It’s no issue, Tom.” I stopped in front of Dean’s room and looked up into his blue eyes.

            “I want to thank you for dragging me along.” I said.

            Tom’s eyebrow quirked up. “What do you mean? I could swear you hated it.”

            “I don’t like sharing my emotions, but if I hadn’t of gone with you I may have not realized all the feelings that I’ve ignored. That’s important and I figured that it was important enough to thank you for.” I said while chewing on my lip.

            Tom rubbed his neck. “We’ve only known each other two days now and here we are, already so deep with sharing emotion.”

            “We’re at emotional points in our lives. Any friendship can help.” I said.

            Tom smiled softly. “Perhaps we can have lunch one day?”

            I bit my lip and looked around. “Alright. Sounds good enough.”

            “I’ll let you know when I’m free.” He said.

            “Okay, Tom. I’ll see you later.” I said. Tom waved and then continued to walk down. I entered Dean’s room and he shifted when I walked in.

            “How did it go?”

            “It was terrible, but honest. I’m upset you let me go.” I sat on the edge of his bed.

            “I believed that it would help.” Dean explained. I laughed a bit.

            “It helped to the point that I got a new friend.” I said.

            Dean raised an eyebrow. “That’s good, at least.”

            I shrugged. “You ready to get outta here?”  

            Dean took my hand. “Always.”

            On our way home from the hospital, Dean again had the window cracked. He was staring up at the stars, and I had found myself catching glimpses every now and then. It was a warmer night, but the sky was so crisp and clear. All the stars were visible, especially here where there was no city lights. Dean spoke quietly. “Can you pull over?” He asked.

            I raised my eyebrow, but didn’t question him at all. I quickly pulled into the shoulder and turned on my hazards. “Is everything alright?”

            “Never better. Follow me.” He said, taking his blanket and leaving the car. I started to protest, but he shut the door before I could get a word out. I got out and walked around, following him up the hill to the crest where he was now sitting on the ground. “Sit.” He said. I nodded and sat next to him.

            “Dean.”

            “Yes?”

            “What on earth do you think you’re doing?”

            Dean gave me a soft chuckle. “I’m looking at the stars.” He said.

            “Perhaps you should have become an astronomer instead.” I said to him, leaning against his shoulder.

            “I should have, but I liked my job.” He said simply. I looked up at the sky above us, the clarity so raw and beautiful. We were silent for a moment.

            “I remember when I first became super interested in the universe, I was a young kid. My teacher used an analogy that our classroom was the universe, and that little speck of dust was the earth. I remember it bringing tears to my eyes. I guess it was just that it was really put into  perspective for me, the massiveness of everything and the pure… beauty. It really can make you feel like everything is unimportant.” Dean said.

            I looked at him. “How come you never told me that?”

            Dean chuckled. “I was embarrassed. Crying over something like that.”

            I joined his eyes that were glued to the crinkling stars, listening to the sounds of the changing leaves rustle with the slight wind. The quietness and calamity of all that was around us. When you were here, just us and the stars. There was a feeling of the lack of importance of the material world. All that I needed here now was him and these stars and we would be fine.

            “I love these stars so much, Elyse. Almost as much as I love you.” He said, “They just... They’re all the same. The stars are still the same stars I saw when I was in high school. Through all the change. Graduating, getting in college, meeting you, falling in love with you, marrying you, moving, starting a whole new life, losing family and even dying. These stars are still here. The stars remain the same.”

            I looked at him a moment. It was weird, the analogy. Stars die, stars are born, but at the same time he’s right. The constellations we see are the ones we’ve always seen. To Dean, they’ve been his constant since his childhood.

            We had been outside for hours, just cuddling before we finally went home.

            The next few days went by. I had gotten through some of my project at work. The suggestion cards were absolutely ridiculous. Adults that were completely immature. I’d never been more annoyed. I was also able to get through my Halloween decorations on the first. I was so ready for Halloween. And I had even gotten around to agreeing to see Tom for lunch. He asked me to meet him in his office at the school’s campus.

            It was definitely weird to be back on a campus. Young adults not too far off from my own age with backpacks on hoping to further their education. I walked towards the English department and found his office. I knocked and waited.

            “Come on in.” He said quickly, and I stepped inside to find him sitting at his desk, a young girl seated in front of it. In his hands was her paper, presumably. “I’ll look it over, Alice. Thank you.” He said as he watched me enter.

            The girl nodded and ran away out the door. Tom stood and smiled widely. He was dressed in his slacks and a green dress shirt this time. “Elyse. You find everything okay?” He asked.

            I nodded. “Yeah. I’m familiar with the layout. Dean’s younger brother went here.” I said. It wasn’t too difficult to see him as a professor now, with the old books all over the place and the wood smell of it all. He was undoubtedly an English professor. “What do you teach?” I asked him.

            “Classics.” He said as he pulled on his blazer, walking to meet me. “Ready for lunch?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, and I'm sorry I'm behind with this post! I just wasn't able to get the dialog right and hopefully this will do.   
> Sorry, again!

     I sat with Tom in a restaurant just off campus, sitting across from him and he smiled back at me.

     I’m glad you could join me.” He said finally.

     I shrugged. “Well, you asked.” I replied, looking at the menu.

     Tom chuckled lowly. “Well, I’m glad you wanted to come this time, instead of your husband sending you.”

     I smirked as I peeked over the menu at him. “Well, I suppose I did want to come.”

     Tom placed the menu down on the table as he looked me over. “Why did you want to come?”

     I had been unprepared for that question. I wasn’t sure what he even meant by that. I pursed my lips and ran a hand through my hair. I sat up a bit straighter and placed the menu back down on the table. “I wanted to come because I thought that you’d want me to. I decided that we have a friendship that can potentially be helpful to the both of us.”

     Tom looked at me. “Ah, so you’re only here to use me as a shoulder to cry on.”

     I scoffed. “No. I am not, don’t take it like that. You know what I meant.”

     He nodded. “Yes, I know. I was merely kidding.”

     I rolled my eyes at him. When the waiter had come to the table, we both ordered and then I looked at him. “Why teaching?” I asked.

     “Well. What do you mean?”

     “I wasn’t able to see you as the type to actually teach a lecture hall full of students.”

     Tom laughed. “No?”

     I nodded curtly. “I don’t know what it is about you…”

     He smirked and I waited for his response.

     “I have always had an affinity for helping people. I like to explain something and help people to understand. Teaching is nice. It certainly wasn’t the dream job I had in mind, but when I decided to major in Classics… there really isn’t anything else to go on with.” He chuckled lowly.

     I bit my lip. “Why Classics?”

     Tom scratched his head, and I watched the way the auburn-ginger locks bounced at the touch, reflecting his own bouncing personality. “I love all the works. Dante, Shakespeare, etcetera. They’re all just so interesting and the themes portrayed all mean something so deep and powerful. It’s almost anything unlike the works we see today. Some are making statements, but none like before. That’s what I like so much about it.”

     I listened to Tom’s explanation and grinned ridiculously at the effort that was completely forced into all that he said. He closed his eyes and sighed as he tried to calm down.

     “What about you? Where did you go to school?”

      “Here, actually.”

      Tom smiled. “Oh! I’m talking with an Alum! I was unaware.”

      I laughed again. “It isn’t something to be so excited about. I majored in Economics.”

      Tom’s eyebrows pursed together. “Economics. You’re a brave person.”

      I smiled and drank some of my water. “I imagine I am. I made it, however. Now, I have a job that I enjoy and is actually quite nice. I think the work and lack of sleep in college payed off.”

     He looked at me with a smile on his face. “I would say so too.”

     I smiled as the waiter brought our food and then I thanked him. Tom did as well.

     “Where did you grow up?” I asked him.

     “I was born in Westminster, but I moved to Wimbledon and then I went to prep school in Oxford.”

     I took in a deep breath. “You seem to be a well educated man.”

     Tom smiled. “I have to thank my family for that, they’ve raised me and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them.”

     I smiled.

     “What about you?” He asked me.

     “Well, I was raised in Montana. In the middle of nowhere of course.” I laughed.

     “Oh. I don’t know, I hear it’s nice country there.”

      I smirked. “Oh sure, if you dig twelve feet of snow and minus 50 degrees.”

     Tom laughed pleasantly. “What was your family life like?”

     I sighed softly, pushing around the food on my plate. “It was just fine. Very… movie like, a fantastic cliche of the perfect family. My parents never fought, my sister and I were always angels for them and such, but I lost my dad when I was ten to a car accident.”

     Tom frowned at me. “Oh, Elyse.”

     I shrugged indifferently. “It was difficult, but I’ve learned to accept it honestly. It just happened fifteen years ago and my mom eventually remarried.”

     Tom sipped his tea, nodding. “When I was young, my parents divorced.” He sighed, then continued to tell me how it had affected his life and how he had found and interest in drama during his days in prep school.

     I listened to him, paying the respect he had given me back. It was nice to have someone to converse with and relate to. The rest of our lunch continued on with him and I talking about how our lives were before everything had changed. I even told him about how I met Dean and our life together.

     We had talked until his alarm went off. “Oh!” He cursed, “I’m going to be late for my class.” He excused himself and apologized profusely. Even taking out his wallet and paying for my half of the bill.

     “Thomas,” I scolded. “you do not have to do that.”

     Tom rolled his eyes. “Elyse, I must. If I didn’t, chivalry would be going to the dogs.”

     I laughed, “Sometimes I think it already has.”

     Tom and I stood to say our goodbyes. He enveloped me into a strong embrace, and I could feel his taut muscles under his blazer. He smelt like a wintry pine. I pulled away.

     “Goodbye, Tom.”

     “Bye, Elyse.” He smiled and waved goodbye as he left the cafe.

 


End file.
